Young adults

Once your child has gone to college or is away from home for the first time, it is harder to influence them and you have no control over the time they come home or how they drink and eat. Do remind them that  3 in 10 young adults don’t drink alcohol and of those who do, 8 in 10 choose not to binge drink – and 8 in 10 don’t use drugs – most just want to socialise and have a great time with their mates and are much more responsible than we realise. To help them with specific advice and information on drink spiking, money worries, mental health, vaping and cannabis, take a look at www.life-stuff.org  Having conversations is still key such as 

• Highlighting how drunkenness or illicit substance use increases vulnerabilities – such as not getting home safely, to drink spiking, the risk of unprotected or non consensual sex, to assault or theft. 
• Encouraging them to pace themselves if drinking by alternating with soft drinks, by eating before going out and being aware of the alcohol levels of different drinks. 
• Reminding them to keep their mobiles fully charged and with them when going out and that using find my friends or snap chat is a great way to check in 
• to always work out how they will get home before they go out (and keep enough money aside) and never to leave a party or venue on their own or with someone they hardly know 
• Always let someone else know where they are going and who with and what time they plan to be back, plans can always change, but they can call and check if needed. 
• Remind them to never to drive under the influence of alcohol or drugs or accept a lift from someone they suspect has taken drink or drugs. It takes an hour for an adult liver to break down a unit of alcohol – so 5 pints take 10 hours for blood alcohol to return to normal – so to watch out for the next day too. A good wake up call if anyone is tempted is they’ll be unable to get car insurance, they’ll lose their licence for at least a year and face an unlimited fine or a 6-month prison sentence. Another is the effect of a criminal record on their job prospects if they get involved in violence or damage. They won’t be able to go to the US if they have a criminal record either
• Emphasise personal responsibility and the importance of making independent decisions, and help them make contingency plans if someone is applying unwanted pressure. It’s absolutely OK to be clear about your expectations around drug use, but try not to make threats. Saying things like “if you use drugs you’re on your own” is unhelpful because if they get into trouble they may not feel they can call for help. 

I think my teenager may be becoming dependent 

Understanding the signs of alcohol, cannabis or any substance use becoming a dependency is crucial as the earlier we can seek help and support the higher the chances of recovery.  

Signs to Look out for include: 

• Abrupt mood swings beyond normal teenage ones 
• Skipping lessons, or just not wanting going in to school 
• Coming home late or not at all, hanging out with new people or being secretive about where they’ve been – this could be a sign of being sucked into a gang, so seek help urgently 
• Frequent lateness or becoming unreliable and evasive 
• Money disappearing from your purse/ wallet – or having more money than they should – a sign they may be getting involved in child exploitation or county lines – again please seek support 
• Disappearing to their room the moment they come in for the day 
• Significant change in school performance 
• Restlessness, agitation or excess tiredness 
• Smelling of alcohol or cannabis 
• Suddenly using breath mints or brushing teeth regularly 
• Wanting to stay over in friends’ houses a lot, especially after parties 
• Becoming very secretive (more so than usual). 
• Getting regular packages delivered and not letting you know what’s in them