11 to 13-year-olds

Get talking – when do you start? 

Children are naturally curious about alcohol – they see people drinking and they want to know more?  What does it taste like? Why can’t I try some. They may see vaping on social media or being promoted by influencers – or be offered puffs by older friends or siblings, especially as they are deliberately fruit flavoured, and attractively packaged making them more appealing to young people.   

Kids will be influenced by their friends, their teachers, TV, films and social media – but in most cases, parents have the biggest effect on their children’s behaviour, so you’re in a good position to make sure they have the facts about alcohol, vaping and cannabis. 

At what age should I talk about drinking?
There is no one size fits all message, however gearing your conversation to different ages helps.

11 – 13 year-olds

Experimenting with vaping can be at a very young age – do remember that 8-10 under 15’s choose not to vape, and of those that do, for most it is out of curiosity  and given to them by a friend. Explaining that nicotine is addictive and will affect  their concentration, make them jittery and lead to head aches and feeling sick. Vapes given or got through social media are often illegal too and we have no idea what is in them – nickel, THC and spice for example. 

Emphasise that vapes and vaping products containing nicotine and so like tobacco, are age restricted. It’s illegal to sell them to under 18s, and for adults to buy them on their behalf.  

If you know of anyone who does sell vapes or tobacco illegally, you can report them to trading standards through the Citizens Advice online portal: citizensadvice.org.uk/consumer Advertising of all tobacco products is illegal, but if you see advertising for vapes that you feel is trying to encourage children and young people to try vaping, you can report it to the Advertising Standards Authority: www.asa.org  

The average age of a first whole drink in the UK is between the ages of 13 and 14, so it’s important to talk at an early age and for your child to have an understanding of units, how alcohol affects the body and liver, why young bodies can’t cope with alcohol and the risks they run by experimenting.  

This is why the UK Chief Medical Officers recommend that children under 16 should not drink alcohol, as their brains and livers are not fully developed and are more liable to damage than adults.  

At age 11, children see it as unacceptable to get drunk and more than 99% don’t drink regularly, but age 13 is what we call ‘the tipping point’. Growing up is an awkward time, reaching puberty, their social lives changing, relationships and peer pressure growing – and probably being less open with you.  

Try not to force the subject, wait until the subject comes up via the TV, the media or similar. Put a conversation about drinking or vaping in context with other ‘life skills’, such as staying safe, talking about drugs and what sex is all about. 

You might think your ‘baby’ is too young for all this, but unfortunately in this savvy world they’ll be more informed than you think! Often, a good approach is to talk about a risky situation featured in a soap, movie or in the news. Car journeys work well as your kids can’t walk off, they don’t have to make eye contact and it is a neutral zone. Try to use open ended questions such as ‘Tell me about’ or ‘What did you think about..? say if passing a vape shop.